his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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