Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
