I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
