I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
