North Korea, Best Korea!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
