Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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