hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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