You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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