she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
