apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
