i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
