remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
