To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
