I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
