stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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