he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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