The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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