I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
