I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
