I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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