erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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