cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
