Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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