You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
