a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We were destined to go to rehab together
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
