im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
