In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
