Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
