Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
