Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I will die if light touches me.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
