i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
