My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
