Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
