I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
