I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
