Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
