Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
