porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
