1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
