I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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