At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
