Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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