I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Randomize
