His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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