What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
