He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
