I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
