ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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