I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
