i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
