I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
